I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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