If that was your dad, he is hot
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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