But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
