I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
