booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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