I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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