Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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