Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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