how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
