Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
