mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
farters have to be the big spoon...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
