Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
