Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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