That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
