is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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