wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
