Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
