guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
