There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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