I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
