I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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