i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
