Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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