Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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