i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
