so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
