thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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