you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
