East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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