Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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