He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
