She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
