He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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