Soap is not a condiment
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
so much tequila, so little girl.
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