i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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