chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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