Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
