I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
