you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
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To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize