dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
