Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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