You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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