who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
