i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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