Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
