New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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