can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
