I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Randomize
