erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!