Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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