therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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