he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
