I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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