I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
