Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
