Jerry, you need to find god
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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