He asked to "fluff my boner.."
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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