im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
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You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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