We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
