k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
