I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize