whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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