i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
