I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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